In 2023, I heard former Navy SEAL team leader Jocko Willink keynote at a marketing conference about the concept of "extreme ownership." His message resonated: when something goes wrong, true leaders take complete responsibility. While I'm not affiliated with Jocko or his work, I highly recommend his three books on leadership—they transformed how I think about taking ownership at work.

I've learned, by applying this principle in my own leadership, that admitting mistakes often feels like it would weaken your position, but it actually makes you stronger. When something goes wrong or a misunderstanding occurs, taking ownership immediately shifts the dynamic from defensive to productive.

Let me show you how this works.

How to Turn Ownership into Leadership Strength

Step One: Take Ownership Strategically

When a misunderstanding or mistake occurs, lead with ownership but maintain control of the conversation:

Start with clear accountability:

• Acknowledge directly: "Your understanding is incorrect, and that's on me"

• Take responsibility specifically: "I obviously wasn't clear enough"

• Move to solution mode: "Let me correct your misunderstanding"

This approach has an interesting effect: once you've admitted a mistake, criticism loses its power. What can someone say when you've already called yourself out?

Example: In a project status meeting, your team member says they didn't realize they needed to coordinate with another department. Instead of defending your instructions, try: "I see now that I didn't explicitly outline the coordination requirements. Let me clarify exactly who needs to be involved and when."

Step Two: Control the Narrative

Don't just admit the mistake—shape what happens next with a clear action plan:

Immediate Response:

• State what happened: "There was confusion about the approval process"

• Take responsibility: "I should have documented this more clearly"

• Provide solution: "Here's the exact process we'll follow"

Follow-Through:

• Document new procedures

• Set up systems to prevent recurrence

• Check in to ensure clarity

Example: "I take responsibility for not being clear enough about the deadline. Let me be specific now: the report is due every Friday by 5pm. I'll be sending calendar reminders and creating a shared tracking document to prevent any future confusion."

Step Three: Know When (and When Not) to Use This Approach

When This Works Best:

• Simple miscommunications about deadlines, deliverables, or expectations Example: "I see why you thought the report was due next week. I should have been clearer that we need it before the client meeting. Let me be specific now..."

• First-time misunderstandings with generally reliable team members Example: "I understand why you proceeded that way. I didn't clearly explain that we need VP approval first. Going forward..."

• When building trust with new teams or stakeholders Example: "As your new manager, I take responsibility for not establishing clear communication protocols. Here's what we'll do differently..."

When to Be More Cautious:

• When dealing with chronic undermining behaviors Example: If someone repeatedly "misunderstands" despite clear documentation, the issue isn't clarity—it's compliance or resistance.

• When someone has a pattern of twisting words Example: If they have a history of using your admissions of mistake against you in other contexts or with other stakeholders.

• When clarity wasn't actually the issue Example: If you provided written instructions that were ignored, don't take ownership of a "communication issue" that didn't exist.

The key difference is that in productive situations, taking ownership creates forward momentum. In unproductive situations, it can enable problematic behavior.

One Thing to Ask Yourself This Week:

"Where am I getting defensive when taking ownership might actually strengthen my position?"

One Thing to Try:

In your next team meeting, practice strategic ownership. When a misunderstanding arises, try this response: "I see where the confusion is, and I take responsibility for not being clear enough. Let me fix that now by being very specific about what's needed." Notice how this shifts the energy of the conversation.

Taking ownership is not about being a martyr—it's about demonstrating the confidence to acknowledge mistakes while maintaining leadership presence. When you own your part, you often gain more influence than you would by defending yourself.

Until next week,

Lauren