I caught myself recently, on vacation with my daughter, bringing a frazzled energy to what should have been simple, joyful moments. It hit me: I was operating from an old belief system formed during years of single parenting, when there genuinely wasn't enough time or energy to go around. Even though that reality has changed, I was still creating an environment of rushed stress—not because the situation demanded it, but because that's the energy I was bringing.

This pattern shows up everywhere, not just in parenting. How many of us carry forward the energy of "everything is hard" from past challenges into current situations where that belief is no longer helpful or even accurate? Maybe you developed that belief during a difficult startup phase, while managing a crisis, or turning around a struggling team. Even after the situation changes, the belief—and its impact—often persists.

Here's how to recognize and shift these patterns:

How to Shape Energy Instead of React to It

Step One: Recognize Your Operating System

The beliefs we carry about "how life works" aren't just thoughts—they're active forces that shape our reality. Start by noticing:

• What core beliefs drive your actions? ("Everything is hard," "There's never enough time," "Change is always painful")

• Where did these beliefs come from? What past experiences shaped them?

• How do these beliefs feel in your body? Where do you hold tension when you think "this is going to be difficult"?

• What kind of environment do these beliefs naturally create around you?

For example, when I notice myself bringing that rushed, frazzled energy to simple situations, I can trace it back to years when that energy was necessary for survival. Understanding this helps me recognize: this is a learned response, not a current reality.

Step Two: Notice the Impact

Our beliefs can create self-fulfilling prophecies. When we operate from "everything is hard":

• Simple tasks feel overwhelming

• We approach situations already tense

• Others pick up on and react to our stress

• We find evidence to support our belief

• We miss opportunities for ease and flow

The impact isn't just mental—our bodies carry these beliefs too. Notice how "this will be difficult" feels different in your body than "this could be simple."

Step Three: Explore New Possibilities

This is where real transformation happens. For each limiting belief, take time to fully explore:

If I lived as though solutions could be simple...

• What would that feel like in my body?

• What new actions would become available?

• What current "problems" might dissolve?

• What would I have to let go of?

• What feels scary about this new way?

• What becomes possible that wasn't before?

For example, when I catch myself bringing that frazzled energy to vacation time, I pause and ask: "If this moment could be easy, what would that feel like? What would I do differently? What would change for my daughter?"

One Thing to Ask Yourself This Week:

"What belief about 'how life works' am I bringing into my current situations? Is this belief still serving me?"

One Thing to Try:

Choose one situation this week where you typically bring stress energy. Before entering that situation, ask yourself: "If this could be simple and easeful, how would I approach it differently?" Notice what shifts in your body when you consider this possibility.

Remember, we can't always change external circumstances, but we can choose what energy we bring to them. Often, that choice alone transforms the situation more than any tactical solution could.

Until next week,

Lauren