Life throws curveballs from time to time. When faced with challenging times, how do you respond? Do you seek comfort in the familiar, or do you yearn for new perspectives? Today, I want to explore two distinct approaches to maintaining confidence and regulating our nervous system during life's storms: finding an anchor or broadening our horizons.

My go-to response always involves my kitchen. When something really rocks the foundation of my life, I find myself gravitating toward mastering a new cooking technique or dish, organizing my cookbook collection, or inventorying my equipment to see what needs updating.

Several years ago, I faced a particularly challenging period in my life and found myself, predictably, in my kitchen – this time perfecting the art of poaching eggs. Over the course of many days, I poached egg after egg, tweaked my technique, adjusted water temperatures, and experimented with vinegar ratios. I poached so many eggs that I began feeding them to guests. (Nothing says "I'm going through something" quite like inviting friends over for multiple courses of poached egg dishes.)

All of what I just described is a version of finding an anchor. This kind of activity is deeply grounding, because it reminds me that regardless of what was happening in my life, I still have the power to create something nourishing and comforting – to meet my own needs in a way that the external aspects of my life can’t at the moment.

But not everyone finds solace in turning inward. For many, the path to confidence and calm lies in broadening their horizons – perhaps through travel, learning a new skill, or immersing themselves in new experiences. This approach can remind us that there's more to life than our immediate challenges, offering a fresh perspective and a sense that life is inherently changeable, and that “this too shall pass.”

Both of these approaches – finding an anchor or broadening horizons – can be powerful tools for regulating our nervous system and boosting confidence during tough times. This matters for leadership, because our ability to maintain confidence, make clear decisions, and guide others is intrinsically linked to how we manage our own internal state.

Here's a framework to help you leverage whichever strategy resonates with you:

How to stay afloat when life rocks your boat

Step One: Identify Your Tendency

Reflect on how you naturally respond to challenges. Do you seek comfort in familiar activities, or do you crave new experiences? There's no right or wrong answer – understanding your inclination is the first step. What you want to do here is know what works for you, so that you’re conscious of what you need and don’t find yourself further drained by others’ suggestions that might not work for you (i.e. spending the evening at the nearest bar at the behest of a well-intentioned friend when you’d really rather be home poaching eggs).

Step Two: Engage Intentionally

Whichever approach you choose, engage with it purposefully – make space for it in your weeks, days, etc. Communicate it to the people who care about you. This may also mean that you dial back your energy, just temporarily, from long-range projects, vision-setting, etc. and just focus on what needs to happen in your business or on your team in the day-to-day until your personal crisis passes.

Step Three: Integrate the Experience

Take time to reflect on how your chosen approach might be incorporated into your daily life, outside of crisis time. Do you need regular travel to feel fulfilled? If you go too many weeks without being able to do at-home activities like cooking, gardening, etc., do you feel ungrounded and drained? Note this and do what you can to prioritize what makes you feel the most content – it will have ripple effects into your work as a leader, because when you’re getting what you need, you naturally have more to give.

One thing to ask yourself:

"In past challenging times, have I tended more towards seeking an anchor or broadening my horizons? How has this served me?"

One thing to try:

This week, intentionally engage in either an anchoring activity or a horizon-broadening experience. Notice how it affects your sense of confidence and calm.

Lead with confidence,

Lauren

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