I have a secret weapon in my relationship with my partner, who's an executive coach. Whenever one of us makes a conclusion that surprises the other, we have a simple phrase: "Walk me down your ladder." This invitation to explain our thinking has prevented countless misunderstandings and helped us make better decisions together.

While most organizations don't share this common language, the principle behind it is powerful. It's based on the Ladder of Inference—a model that shows how we move from observing facts to making conclusions, often without realizing all the steps in between.

Credit goes to my partner for introducing me to this framework. Now, let me show you how understanding this "ladder" can transform your leadership effectiveness, even if you never use that term with others.

How to Understand Where Others Are Coming From

Step One: Recognize the Steps

We all move through the same process when forming conclusions:

• We start with observable facts (what a video camera would capture)

• We select certain details to focus on (based on our experience)

• We add meaning to those details (through our cultural lens)

• We make assumptions based on that meaning

• We draw conclusions

• We develop beliefs

• We take actions based on those beliefs

For example: Your team member is quiet in meetings. That's observable data. But watch how quickly we climb the ladder:

• Select: Focus on their silence (ignoring their written contributions)

• Add meaning: "They're not engaged"

• Assume: "They don't care about the project"

• Conclude: "They're not a team player"

• Believe: "They're not right for this role"

• Act: Start documenting performance issues

Step Two: Slow Down the Climb

When you notice yourself or others making quick judgments:

• Pause at the observable data level

• Notice what details you're selecting (and ignoring)

• Question your interpretations

• Consider other possible meanings

Instead of "Walk me down your ladder," (which people may not understand unless they’re familiar with the Ladder of Inference framework) try:

• "Help me understand how you got there"

• "Can you walk me through your thinking?"

• "What are you seeing that I might be missing?"

• "Could you share what leads you to that conclusion?"

Step Three: Create Space for Different Perspectives

Remember that others are climbing their own ladders:

• They might select different details

• Their cultural lens affects what meaning they add

• Their experiences shape their assumptions

• Their conclusions might make perfect sense given their ladder

When disagreements arise:

• Start with shared observable facts

• Be curious about different interpretations

• Acknowledge multiple valid perspectives

• Look for system solutions that work across differences

For example: Instead of assuming a quiet team member is disengaged, you might ask: "I notice you haven't spoken in the last few meetings. I'd love to understand your perspective on how the meetings are going."

Their answer might surprise you.

One Thing to Ask Yourself This Week:

"What conclusion am I drawing, and what observable data actually supports it?"

One Thing to Try:

Next time someone's conclusion surprises you, instead of disagreeing, get curious. Try: "Could you help me understand how you got there?" Notice how this changes the conversation.

Remember: We're all constantly climbing ladders of inference. The key isn't to stop climbing—it's to climb more consciously and help others do the same.

Until next week,

Lauren